Openly discussing illness with your child, however difficult that may be, can help them cope much better. Here are some guidelines for facilitating an open and honest discussion with your child about his or her illness:

Carefully consider the most appropriate time and place for a discussion about illness. Talk with your child in an environment that is comfortable to them, such as their bedroom or the kitchen. Timing is also key so try to begin the conversation early enough in the day so that your child has time to reflect on what was said and ask questions later.

First, find out what your child already knows. Chances are your child is already aware that something is wrong. Following this, take your time explaining their illness in simple language. Go step by step, and don’t be afraid to admit when you don't know the answer to a question. If, however, you discover that your child simply isn’t ready to talk, don’t push. Be patient.

Try to maintain your child’s routine as much as possible, whether that means giving them time to themselves or continuing with play dates and after-school activities. Children also need to have boundaries so don’t try to make things better by heading out for ice-cream sundaes every night or throwing discipline out the door.

Actions speak louder than words so be generous with hugs, kisses and quality time. Assure your child that they will always be supported and loved throughout this difficult time.

Be aware of changes in your child's behaviour. Some children may begin to misbehave while others are suddenly extremely well behaved. Either way, it’s a red flag that you need to sit down with your child to discuss what’s on their mind. Some behavioural changes to expect:

• Baby talk
• Thumb-sucking, bed wetting
• Neglecting chores
• Playing with dolls or toys from earlier years
• Clinging to one or both parents
• Changes in appetite

Teach them about deep breathing. Your child’s illness may require frequent hospital visits. If, during a visit, your child becomes anxious or upset, practice “breathing and blowing” exercises with them. Have your child take a deep breath in and blow it out slowly, then repeat this exercise several times. Slow, rhythmic repetition of breathing and blowing helps children relax and gives them some control in situations that may be painful and scary.

Give them comforts from home. If you can’t be with your child during a particular procedure, leave familiar things from home with them while you are away. These could be his or her favourite toys and music, or photos and videotapes of you and the family.

When your sick child is a teenager

As your child gets older, they’ll have different needs, wants and reactions.

Do your research. When teens are suffering from a serious illness, they may demand a lot of information so be sure to supply as much technical terminology and statistical information as possible. Since teens are Internet savvy, provide them with links to sites that offer quality information from a trusted source. Watch the video Finding health and wellness information on the Internet — a doctor’s perspective or browse the We can reach out for support section of this website.

Be prepared for your teenager to respond in a number of different directions. They may display intense feelings of sadness or have spats with friends.

Encourage your teen to talk to someone outside the immediate family. Have them have a private conversation with their healthcare provider for information on their health, or a friend’s parent, teacher or gym coach about how they’re feeling.